When I was in the 4th grade we had a career day. If you’re not familiar career day is the day when you dress up for the job/career you’d like to have. At that age, I wanted to be a teacher, but I was so afraid that people would judge me for wanting to be a teacher, so I dressed as a doctor. I have absolutely no interest in medicine, but it was a good answer. Fast forward to when I was in 5th grade and we were walking through a New York and Company store. I ran my hands through the racks and looked up thinking I would love to work in retail. I kept that to myself because it wasn’t a good answer. When I got my first retail job I remember telling myself “ you did it!”
I kept it all to myself because again these weren’t good answers when people asked you what your job is or what ‘do you want to do for work’. It wasn’t until COVID hit and I was on the phone with my therapist and she told me those infamous words that I live my life by now “ this is your life, you do with it what you want.” That I decided to stop being a good answer, I decided that regardless of what other people thought about my life it’s mine their thoughts have no impact on what happens in it. It’s just a thought and it’s not even mine.
Once I stopped living life for the good answers I discovered so much more about myself. There’s stuff I’m doing now that I would have never thought was possible because someone told me I could only do that if I do this. I got rid of the people who I had to give good answers and started only having to answer to myself. I choose only to ask myself one thing “ Am I happy?” If the answer is yes then there’s my good answer.
Are you a victim of the ‘good answer’ lifestyle? Where did it lead you? I encourage you to design a life where you only answer to yourself. And before you give me all the reasons why you can’t stop and think about all the reasons you can and tell me which side has better answers?