I talk about happiness a lot here. Ever since 2020, that’s all I’ve ever been in search of, and dare I say I’ve found my happiness. It was a shocking feeling when first found it like the skies opened and I saw the sun. It was transformative and beautiful. I’ve become a happier and more positive person and it’s amazing. I touched on it a bit in my post deciding to be happy but I wanted to give a more updated version on what happiness meant to me.
I think a lot of people believe that happiness is always being upbeat, having a smile on your face, always looking on the bright side and you don’t have a dark or mean bone in your body. To me, that is not the case. We as human beings are complex and feel various emotions based on the day, month, year, and situation. You are supposed to feel sad, angry, and sometimes even bland that’s life! To have happiness is not the absence of these feelings it’s living with them and knowing that it’s not the end.
To be a happy person means you accept the things that you can not change. It’s understanding that there are going to be things in the world that you do not like and finding the bullsh*t that you can tolerate. There’s always going to be a downside to everything example if you’re traveling the world, the downside might be airfare or the bathroom situation. On the other hand, you might have a demanding job that you need. Can you find any joy in this? Maybe it’s the paycheck or experience? Or you have a coworker that you like. Find happiness in the situation, there’s something you like about. If you can’t maybe it’s time for a change.
Understand that you are in control of your life, not others. This is the harsh reality, but, you are in control of your life. I know it’s shocking but you are. You can make it as good or as bad as you want. I’m not trying to say it will be easy but it is possible. When people tell me it’s not I tell them my story on how I adopted a more mindful and stress-free life at the lowest part of my life. I moved out making $10 dollars an hour, I was living in a bad apartment, in a terrible part of the city, and usually only had maybe $40 dollars for groceries. Sometimes not even that! I was low, I was sad, and then I got tired. l got tired of struggling, and tired of living in bad apartments and I got tired of being sad and tired.
So I made a change, I started applying for better jobs in better places and asking for my worth. It took 3 years to get out but I did. It’s possible to make a better life for yourself but you have to understand that it’s all up to you. Figure out what you have to do to change the situation and make a plan and don’t let anyone tell you you can’t, you can do it, you just have to know you can.
Identify your triggers and heal. As I stated things happen it’s no one else’s job to make sure you’re ok other than you. I can’t tell you the amount of things that just trigger me. It’s almost alarming but it’s ok, I feel things and I feel them deeply. Sometimes those feelings are of past traumas or whatever. I remind myself to focus on what I’m doing now as well as practicing any and all my coping techniques. Find what works for you and use it don’t let the actions of others influence your own, remember you are in control.
Lastly, Accept yourself. Accept your flaws, your imperfections, and all your weird beautiful quirks. It’s ok to want to change things about yourself or have a goal for yourself that’s cool but you shouldn’t feel bad if you don’t look or behave a certain way. You can still change and love yourself, or not change at all! At the end of the day, hug yourself and always have your back. You’re the only one you have, honor it.
In Conclusion, what is happiness? Happiness is Acceptance. Accepting that life sometimes can suck, and that’s ok. Accepting the fact that you’re in control and if you can make it easier and happier for yourself go for it! And most importantly, accepting yourself for where you’re at and where you’re going and at the end of the day finding love and some peace in the journey.
Until next time.